Your “upper limit problem” is holding you back
In the past year, I realized that reading books about growth is better with a group. My accountability for finishing and enjoyment of reading the books improved after joining the “Life Changing Books Club” that a coaching friend hosts. I find myself taking notes and being eager to hear what others say.
Our most recent read, “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks, was one that I enjoyed, but I honestly enjoyed it even more when discussing the concepts with the group. Everyone referenced the three big ideas that Hendrick names in the book: the upper limit problem, your zone of genius, and the concept of Einstein Time. Working through these concepts with others was great because they brought up a point of view that I hadn’t considered.
First, Hendricks explains the “upper limit problem” through examples and definitions. He states, "When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.” In other words, whenever you start finding success in reaching your relationship, career, or personal goals, you will sabotage that success to help you find your way back to the status quo. He gave several examples of famous people who did just that – sabotaged what was going well.
One group member liked that several examples were famous men, such as Bill Clinton, because she said she envisioned that women had more of an upper-limit problem. She was glad to understand more about how this problem exists for both men and women. He did an excellent job explaining how we will undermine our success with negative thinking, thinking we need to conquer.
Hendricks mentioned one technique for overcoming the upper limit problem is changing your relationship to fear. He points out that the symptoms or feelings associated with fear are similar to symptoms associated with excitement. Some of the manifestations of these emotions include butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate. So what if we looked at our fear as excitement rather than fear? Your upper limit can rear its head as fear, guilt, worry, or some other negative emotion. As Hendricks points out, fear has “the very same mechanisms that produce excitement also produce fear, and any fear can be transformed into excitement by breathing fully with it.”
So, what’s the big difference between fear and excitement? The breath. If you make sure to breathe, it could change your perspective. As I consider this point, I reflect on the training for “Positive Intelligence” as I become a PQ Coach. You get into the sage brain, resetting your feeling of fight or flight by breathing or possibly touch exercises, slightly reminiscent of meditation. Both practices reset the brain, putting you in the present moment so that you can tackle any challenge. Next time you get stressed, notice your breath. Are you holding it? If so, focus on breathing in and out and changing your brain. And maybe that stress is simply the excitement of conquering another challenge.
The next concept beyond the upper limit is your zone of genius, and for Hendricks, this is where we should live. He said in his book, “Discovering your Zone of Genius is your life’s Big Leap.” The question in my book group was: Does everyone know their zone of genius? We didn’t all know this automatically, which was comforting, and this reflection gave us a moment to discuss because we all should know our zone of genius. It makes it hard to live in a space you cannot recognize, and we all take different approaches to finding where our genius lies. I used a resource called “Sparketype,” and others looked for where they lost all sense of time and felt like they made a difference. This zone is different for everyone, so it might take time to find it.
The last concept of Einstein Time significantly impacted me because I saw how much I do this myself. How often do you complain about time? For me, I complain more often than I should. “I ran out of time,” I often say when I want to mark one more item off the to-do list. If my son asked me to take him to the pool, I would say, “Hon, I don’t have the time right now.” In “The Big Leap,” he explains we have the time. We prioritized something else at that moment. We make priorities all the time, and those choices are what dictate what gets out attention.
This concept of Einstein time reminds me of school mornings. I would snap at my son about how late we would be, and sometimes we were. He would look at me and tell me not to stress. Stressing makes it more challenging to get out the door, and my son had a point. If I control my anxiety at that moment, getting there is more manageable, and sometimes we aren’t late. The key in these moments is to change our relationship with time and realize that it is ours to use as we want.
Finally, Hendricks’ message is this: Make the “big leap” and don’t let your “upper limit problem” get in the way. Fear, self-doubt, the blaming of time, or not knowing your zone of genius could be the cause of how you’re limiting yourself, so create awareness. Grow. Follow your dreams, and live in your “Zone of Genius.” These shifts can make all the difference, and if you want to learn more, check out Gay Hendricks’ “The Big Leap.” It’s worth the read.
