Making others feel valued is critical for growth
My husband and I started watching “The Bear,” an FX show nominated for several Emmys about a chef who takes over his late brother’s restaurant. The acting is incredible, and if you haven’t watched it, I will try not to give any spoilers. It is worth checking out if you like food and a cast of dynamic, well-developed characters.
One recent scene struck me and reminded me why I love this show. Tina, who works at the restaurant, was outside, and Sydney, the sous chef, approached her. Sydney tells Tina that she needs another dependable sous chef. Tina says she will ask around, but Sydney stops her and clarifies. She wants Tina in that role. Tina’s response says all you need to know. Her face brightens with the biggest smile you have ever seen her give. The once tired and angry, even bitter, character suddenly reveals a moment of pure joy. Sydney shows her belief in Tina’s ability and talent, and Tina’s reaction shows she is ready to give her all.
“The Bear” examines what happens when people believe in you and what happens when they don’t, and it reminds me that we must make the people around us feel valued.
Whether you are a colleague, a boss leading a team, a parent trying to instruct a child, or someone in a romantic relationship or friendship, people need to know that they matter. For example, leaders can show they value their teams when investing in each person. That investment can look different, depending on the situation. Sometimes it is simply reinforcing the fact that you believe in someone and their ability to try something new by giving a positive comment. Other times it might be investing in them, providing training that they value and can help them grow professionally.
Ultimately, it all comes down to feedback and investment. If you are giving feedback, provide positive reinforcement before offering the points needed for improvement, and always ensure that your ratio of positive interactions is more than your negative interactions.
I hear so many stories where the leadership devalues and undermines the importance of the team. Most employees struggle as the atmosphere becomes toxic as the leaders prioritize profits. Another issue might be those in charge don’t invest in the personnel or provide training opportunities that help them feel valued. The first type of workplace might have a high turnover rate or lose talented people. The second situation might make workers feel stagnant, decreasing their energy and effort.
I have experienced toxic and supportive workplace atmospheres, which discourage or encourage learning and growth. In the first instance, the situation bordered on abuse. My boss at the time criticized parts of the articles I wrote while she yelled and cussed at me, treating me as incompetent. She scolded me if I didn’t have the age of a person or some other detail. (Again, I think of another scene in “The Bear,” but I won’t give the details for fear of giving any more spoilers). I left that job after three months. In the supportive workplace, I wanted to work hard, doing my best to live up to the standards we were trying to create. I grew. I learned, and I loved every moment of the process. I gladly forget the first situation. The second experience still lingers and teaches me the professional I want to be. This experience made me want to grow to become a better worker. I was Tina receiving the sous chef position of a lifetime, and I continue to benefit from that opportunity.
In Parth Misra’s “Entrepreneur” article, he said that 85% of workers are unhappy. This lack of joy makes people quit their jobs, costing businesses profits. Misra points out that replacing employees can cost a company twice their base salary. These facts make investing in employees seem more critical and could save money in the long run.
Keeping these stats in mind, it’s no wonder that Ari Weinzweig, the co-founder of Zingerman’s Deli in Michigan, said, “If you don’t create a great, rewarding place for people to work, they won’t do great work.” If you want people to work hard and provide excellent quality, you need to invest in people. You need to tell them how much they are worth. This philosophy is, once again, reflected in “The Bear.” The staff falls apart when the protagonist Carmy shows his frustrations and belittles their efforts to create new and innovative dishes, but when he respects and cares for those who work for him, the staff grows and becomes happier. When this happens, you also believe in the restaurant’s impending success.
The fact is that cultures can grow and flourish when we believe in people, and this idea applies to the workplace and our families because it is a universal concept. When teaching students, I learned that this attitude can also help kids grow because they often lack the confidence needed to try a new skill. Similarly, coaching from that positive belief mindset can help people grow.
John Maxwell says that “great leaders value people equally and treat people equitably” in his article “Leading Everyone Well: Equality and Equity.” Valuing others makes a difference, and the goal is for everyone to feel the ultimate joy Tina felt as Sydney offered her a promotion to sous chef. However, sometimes we must start by creating a little positive energy. So when you get a chance, look around your workplace, home, or where you volunteer. Find someone you value, and find a way to let them know. You will be glad you did.
Sources:
Maxwell, J. “Leading Everyone Well: Equality and Equity.” Oct. 30, 2018.
Misra, Parth. “Investing in your employees is the smartest business decision you can make.” “Entrepreneur,” June 29, 2018.
