Make your mind unhackable
How often have you had a good morning and something happened? For me, those chaotic mornings occur without warning. Maybe you spilled your coffee on your favorite white shirt, only to find yourself running late and stuck in traffic. If you're lucky, the extra 45 minutes you gave yourself before that morning’s big meeting are now dwindling to 10 minutes. Then, you get a text from your daughter. She missed the bus. Again.
Your plan falls apart. It’s 8 a.m., and you feel exhausted. Your thoughts start spiraling: Why is the world working against me? Why can I never make it happen on time?
It’s time to press pause and reframe these thoughts. One bad event doesn’t spoil the entire day. It’s testing your ability to recover from a problem. When you can recover, it makes you better when adversity happens. You're prepared, and you know what to do.
Many of us could find ourselves amid a morning like the one above, but this is our opportunity to create changes to make mornings go more smoothly. When those minor adjustments don’t work, and something still goes wrong, there are actions you can take that will not only reset your day but also get you back on track.
The reality is we deal with many distractions amid a loud world every day, and if you are neurodivergent, you might find yourself more sensitive to everything around you. Buzzing phones, demanding schedules balancing work and family, and a world of noise and chatter. We constantly communicate with everyone around us, often in more ways than one. No wonder stress is high, and this picture doesn’t even consider how often our minds wander.
The results of a 2020 study published in Nature Communications (Tseng, 11) showed that we have more than 6,000 thoughts daily. If you consider sleeping time, you have 6.5 thoughts per minute, which is a lot of mind jumping even when you focus on one task.
When our minds wander, we struggle with focusing on the good moments in our day. Often, we worry about what will happen at the afternoon meeting or if we will be able to pick up our child on time because of that last-minute meeting or phone call. These thoughts start a pattern of thinking that leaves us tired, burned out, and ready to quit. However, we don’t need to continue living in this chaotic world. We can take control, not only of our lives but also of our thoughts, We forget that we are in control, and we can improve our focus and ability to reach our goals.
The key to taking back control is mindfully and intentionally creating a plan that once again puts you in the driver’s seat for what you do and thinks each day. This level of control happens one small step at a time, and we can’t rush the process because building positive habits is a long-term effort.
When trying to change habits, take one step at a time. Remember, you didn’t build your thought patterns overnight because you have been thinking the way you do your entire life. Don’t feel frustrated or impatient when results aren’t immediate.
If you want to make your day unhackable, this process has several critical steps. The first thing you should do is get your mind in a positive state using mindfulness, and then once you can think better, you can move into the second step of taking inventory of your thoughts. Once you have figured out the views holding you back, categorize them. Are they negative, or are they positive? Can I do anything about this worry, or is this problem out of my control? Now, let’s look at each of these steps in more detail.
First, you need mindfulness, moments where you give your mind a break. These can look like breathing exercises or meditation. You can employ an app like Calm or Headspace or try the Positive Intelligence method of daily PQ reps. This technique involves using your five senses to bring you into the moment, and PQ reps can be, for example, focusing on your breath or sense of touch or sight for a mere 2 minutes several times a day. The point is to take a moment for yourself, away from your phone, computer, or email. Truly see the world around you. Notice the feeling of your breath as you breathe in and out. Give your mind a break to let in more positive energy.
Second, take inventory of your negative thoughts and their impact on you. How many negative thoughts do you have each day? Are there positives? If you can’t see the positives, then get curious. Why does this event, person, or moment bother you so much? Can you take action to see this situation differently?
The third step is to categorize what you are worried about. Is it something you can do something about, or do you need to let go because it’s out of your control? Decide and categorize to either deal with it or let it go. If you let it go, remind yourself of this every time a thought or worry pops into your mind. If the problem is in your control, then make a plan and take action.
Ultimately, you can take control of your thoughts, or your thoughts will take over you. The excellent news is that you can do something about it, and if you find it more of a struggle than usual, enlist the help of a therapist or coach. Depending on your situation, they can give you the support you need to help you overcome those negative thoughts, and they can follow up and check on your progress until the habit has become a part of your routine
Source: Tseng, J. & Poppenk, J., Nature Communications 11, Article number: 3480 (2020).
