Make friends with life
How often have you heard someone say, “Well, that’s life,” when something goes wrong? Or perhaps you uttered those words yourself.
As part of the Positive Intelligence program, I recently saw a training about making “friends with life.” I have never heard that turn of phrase, but after listening to Shirzad Charmin’s explanation, it makes so much sense. We often blame life for any misfortune, but what if that misfortune became a gift?
As I considered this perspective, my mind drifted back to a moment two years ago. I ordered my favorite sushi takeout for my mom and son. My stomach growled with hunger on the way to get the food until I saw a warning light on my car. Something was wrong with a tire, so I pulled over in a parking lot. The tire had quickly seeped air. I was stuck.
I called roadside assistance and got a call from Anthony. He said he could be at the site in 30 minutes, and he was. When he arrived, I had expected a tow truck. Instead, a small sedan drove up, parking to shine its lights on my damaged tire.
I stood in awe, watching him work his magic. He said he had worked in garages since he was 13. He plugged the hole and carefully checked for any more leaking. Before he left, he received another call, much like mine. Another person had locked the keys in the car, and he wanted to rescue them, too.
This experience didn’t turn out how I wanted, but it was a gift for which I was thankful. I could have blamed life at that moment and complained about my rotten luck. My luck hadn’t been rotten. I felt fortunate because someone came and fixed the problem.
Although I didn’t realize it then, I had made friends with life, taking the good and the bad in stride. Every day since then, I have looked at the bad or maybe not-so-lucky events as a challenge because it isn’t that bad.
Making friends with life is essential because life itself is a gift. Too often, we categorize events as good or bad, but what if those events are neither good nor bad? They may be what they are. So many times, events might look bad at the moment, but what if those events taught you a great lesson that helped you grow? Or maybe, you were so late for work that your boss said something about it, only to learn later that had you been to work at your regular time you would have been caught in a terrible accidence that sent people to the hospital.
The fact is that there are always two sides to every perspective. Why do we always choose the side with the most significant negative impact? Why not choose the side with the most optimistic possibility? Or we accept the possibility of both and then let it go?
So many people walk around stressed and anxious, and they blame everything else for these emotions. We stress about how we deal with a challenge and then tell ourselves that we aren’t good at handling these challenges. We don’t have to choose to react that way. We can train our brains and believe whatever happens will be for the best, looking for ways to learn through the process.
There are so many times in my life where I would have never been happy if things had turned out how I wanted them to. I didn’t know this then, and sometimes I lamented that I had not gotten my way. At the time, I am sure I blamed life and felt that I was jinxed or that life was my enemy. Now, I know that life isn’t the enemy. We are here to learn and grow; you can’t do that without ups and downs and a few bruises.
Be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up because something goes wrong. Sometimes the bumps in the road can be scary. They are overwhelming at times and lonely at other times. Learn from these moments. I am so thankful I didn’t get what I wanted so many times because I now see that I would have missed out on the greatest gifts of my life.
Instead of making it your enemy, make friends with life. Don’t blame life when things don’t go your way, and instead, look for the gift or opportunity at that moment to either show yourself some love or possibly give of yourself to those in need around you.
