The vital ingredient needed to take risks
After recently recommending Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way” to someone feeling creatively stuck, I decided to take the challenge myself. I started writing her morning pages about a month ago. For anyone unfamiliar, morning pages are three pages of nonstop writing as soon as you wake up.
This technique and her book have been around since 1992, and the practice of morning pages isn’t anything new to me. However, I changed something up this time around. I started using her “Morning Pages Journal.” This journal is prominent. Much bigger than my standard journals, these pages take 30 to 45 minutes to write each morning. Thank goodness I get up early.
On these pages, I vent and kvetch. I worry, and I struggle. They are a safe place to process feelings, ideas, thoughts, and negativity.
Then, this week, I came across a quote in this journal: “You are learning to balance the energies of expansion and change with your own needs for safety and the familiar.” This quote struck me.
I don’t know about you, but I have never been a risk-taker. Yes, I did try skydiving once. I jumped out of the plane strapped to my instructor as confidently as possible without thinking of consequences. That was nearly 25 years ago. I have changed a lot since then.
Despite this boldness I occasionally displayed in my youth, change has always sent me into a cold sweat. I never once considered the need to balance risk, expansion, and growth with some sense of safety, but that is precisely what you need to be able to walk that tightrope confidently. You need to know someone or something will catch you when you fall, and sometimes that safety net is one that you built yourself.
These risks happen often when you are a child because you do so many things for the first time. I see this as I watch my son grow and learn. Recently, he and I talked about his new journey into middle school — two words can send shivers down the spine of the bravest adult. He started expressing to me that he didn’t know anyone. His friends are all in other classes. He is around unfamiliarity all day long.
I asked him, “Would you return to elementary school today if you could?” He quickly nodded. I know the reason for his answer: safety and familiarity. Right now, he has neither. He has changed so much in the past year. I can imagine that, in some ways, he doesn’t recognize himself. All of that can be scary.
Flash to anyone leaving a full-time job to start a business or possibly someone starting a podcast, blog, or some creation of passion. This change can be debilitating without some sense of familiarity or safety.
Now, take it a step further. Is it a lack of safety that causes some people not to follow their dreams? Is it a fear of leaving that comfort zone?
As I have entered mid-life, I find myself more comfortable taking those risks because I do have the safety of my family around me. This helps, and I don’t feel I took those risks earlier because I was trying to find my footing in so many other ways. Looking back, I know that I did not always extend the stretch as far as my dreams could reach because I fear success and failure simultaneously.
I want to give my kids a safety net to enable them to take risks and grow beyond their wildest dreams. Sometimes, that safety net isn’t me but a safe space in their daily environment.
Yesterday, I went to the school to order my son’s band instrument. He was waiting in the band room, and as my husband and I walked in, I exhaled and smiled. Sitting next to a friend from elementary school, I found him on the floor. He was comfortable, and I knew at that moment. He was finding safety amidst all the change and growth. He was finding where he fit, allowing him to stretch and expand to reach his dreams.
So, the next time you find yourself stuck and not moving in the direction of your dreams, ask yourself this one vital question: Are you balancing your risk-taking with some level of comfort and safety? If you are stuck, this could be the one solution you need.
