Inspiration for The Unrested Life Coach
The name change on this site might seem abrupt, but it has been brewing in my mind for quite a while. The decision to switch from Dragonfly Coaching Innovations evolved from consistent reflection and learning, and it took time to realize that living the “unrested life” inspired me to return to my love of writing and start coaching.
Three years ago, I was at a crossroads. I found myself exhausted and worried. It wasn’t the pandemic that caused this exhaustion. Yes, that had quite a bit of uncertainty, but I was learning a lot about myself and how much my teaching job cost me. My evaluations were excellent, and I was proud of my work. However, I kept pushing, wanting to do more, and all I saw was what needed improvement.
Every school year, I battled several minor illnesses. Every school year, I was so tired that some nights I went to bed at 8 p.m. Some nights, I couldn’t function, and some days, I would cry several times a day. The emotional toll of the number of decisions I made each day and the emotional turmoil and complexity of students in middle school, some of whom were in distress, left me depleted. I was a social worker, lesson planner, event planner, grader, communicator, marketer, designer, and idea generator all at once.
It was taking more than it was giving me.
In addition, I worked long hours, arriving at work at 7:30 a.m. and not leaving until 5:30 p.m. Then, I often worked nights and weekends. My house was always a mess, and I didn’t have time to face my son’s struggles, which I eventually discovered were a product of my son’s Autism.
When the pandemic happened, allowing me to work from home, my thoughts shifted, and I pivoted. A change had to happen, so I left my job to start working online. During this time, I recalled a paper I wrote in my freshman year of college about working from home, balancing my work and family life. I had forgotten that vision, and while working from home isn’t for everyone, it is an excellent fit for me. Sadly, it took a pandemic to remind me of what I wanted, but thankfully, I saw the gift in such a big event.
After much reading, self-discovery, and coaching, I realized I was living the “Unrested Life.” I wasn’t focusing on myself and always giving too much of myself to my job. Balance was not in the equation because I was constantly striving for perfection. A revolving state of burnout was my life.
“The Unrested Life” is about balancing work, home, and self-care. The balance can vary, and it’s different for every person. However, the effort to attain it and the judgment you heap upon yourself as you’re doing it can be daunting, and sometimes that judgment can come from yourself or others who are ingrained in the idea that you have to work extremely hard to excel and succeed.
Too often, hustle culture shapes our world, saying we must work harder and faster to reach our goals. This culture demands you to do more and better than ever, not leaving room for any type of balance. Deloitte did a 2022 study of 2,100 workers showed that more than 40% of employees feel exhausted, stressed, and overwhelmed and that 70% of C-level executives are seriously considering quitting their jobs for one that better supports their well-being.
In addition, the study showed that “employees and executives are struggling to prioritize well-being and think work is to blame.” Combine these findings with last year’s Deloitte study that states that 53% of women say their stress levels are higher than a year ago, with almost half feeling burned out, and it is obvious the problem isn’t going away. However, it is a pattern that can change.
It is time to find a balance that helps us live the life we envision and want. For this reason, I want to build a community that offers the resources and tools you need to live a productive and fulfilling life on your terms. This community will feature a productivity book club, one-on-one coaching, accountability groups, resources, and more. My goal is to meet the needs of those finding themselves at the point I was about three years ago.
Society tells us that the hustle culture of our current times is necessary for success, but this isn’t true anymore. You don’t have to work all day and night to be excellent at your job and achieve your dreams.
While working in a brick-and-mortar school, I remember the constant struggle to balance. I judged myself for not doing it well and not giving enough, but after much learning, I now know there isn’t a perfect balance. Life ebbs and flows. It’s more about finding the perfect situation that gives you the room to grow into the person you want to be.
Coaching helped me with the processes needed to do this, and I want to provide the structures to help others do the same. Life isn’t easy. You have setbacks. You have failures. You have losses. But, when these events happen, they don’t have to throw you off track. You can stay the course and thrive, finding the gift, opportunity, or lesson in what you are going through.
Living a consistently unrested life where you judge and criticize yourself isn’t the answer to success, but having the empowerment to overcome self-doubt and perfectionism is what you need to help you keep moving forward toward your goals and dreams.
Everyone is unique and different, with different passions and visions. The tools I provide enable you to be the most authentic version of yourself, a version of yourself that might have gotten lost over time. It is time to uncover who you are and are meant to be. Doing so allows you to pursue your dreams and build better relationships with those you love, energizing you to take the risks needed to make your dream come true.
Sources:
Deloitte’s “Women @ Work 2022: Global Outlook”
Ruggeri, C. “Research shows hustle culture does more harm than good.” May 16, 2023.
