Sadness happens even in the happiest times

“The good times of today are the sad thoughts of tomorrow.”

- Bob Marley

On a recent Saturday, my husband and I ran errands, trying to get things done while enjoying time together. Balance, right? Yet, something was off. It was like, as my son says, an out-of-body experience. I was in a haze, and I was anxious. My thoughts started swirling and taking a nosedive.

      What is wrong with me? I shouldn’t feel sad right now. Am I OK?

      Those questions hit me over and over, and at the same time, I felt I could cry. I wanted to cry, but why? I should be happy. It was a brief break from work. The sun was shining. My husband finally had a weekend off, and my son had just had a wonderful birthday celebration with family. We were even planning a second party with his friends.

      I finally voiced my feelings and started sharing them with my husband. I described the haze, fog, and exhaustion I felt. As I did this, he listened. I then started talking about the sadness. My mom had just had a procedure. Because she couldn’t eat, her blood sugar kept going low because of her diabetes, and honestly, it scared me. I kept calling her, checking on her. I knew the underlying fear. I lost my dad seven years ago. I wasn’t ready to lose my mom.

      And then, there was the fact our youngest had just turned 11. This is his last year of elementary school. He is still a child, but he is closer to a teenager. I have enjoyed the school events with young children running around. I have enjoyed drama-less friendships, but I see that changing now. The cliques are forming. Kids are left out, and the disagreements and discord are growing.

      As tears welled in my eyes, I told my husband how these events impacted me this week. I told him I felt like crying, but I didn’t understand. I should be happy. Not sad. I should be thankful. Not melancholy.

      Once I shed a few tears, I felt release, peace, and acceptance. It is OK to feel sadness. I need to permit myself to experience my emotions whenever it is needed. Then, I saw the Bob Marley quote and realized he got it right. Moments of true happiness don’t last forever. Life goes into different stages and seasons, and even though that next stage might be blissful, you still mourn the loss of those beautiful moments you experience.

      My son no longer toddles around the house. He doesn’t rush into our bedroom in the morning to say he’s up. I miss those days, and oh, how I miss those mornings. Those happy moments now make me melancholy because I will not experience them again, but in their place are the moments of shared growth and discovery. We gave him his first phone, and he felt such independence. He’s proud of it and has new friendships that have grown this year.

      I know these moments don’t last forever, and I tend to get very sentimental. Instead of fighting the sadness, I need to experience it. I need to permit myself. It is OK to cry. It is OK to pause long enough to experience the emotions that come with the passing of time and meaningful moments.

      The fact is: Life gets busy. We get lost in the doing and ignore our feelings. When we do that, we can lose ourselves and miss those precious moments that become tomorrow's sadness. Those sad emotions are the windows to what we value most.

Life might be busy but take the time to feel. Take the time to experience; although it isn’t easy to accept, sadness is a big part of the joy. You can’t have one without the other. So let the sadness in. Feel the moment, and don’t feel guilty or ashamed of it. You grieve because you have been happy. Be kind to yourself and honor those moments.