Cracks in the Foundation: Recognizing neglected areas in your busy life
How often do you feel you can only choose work or family? And how often do you feel like you made the wrong choice?
I often find myself feeling split in two. I want to be everything to everyone, and I can’t do all the things. I know this, but this knowledge doesn’t stop me from trying to do it all or feeling guilty when I can’t. This constant struggle is what leads to burnout.
The fact is, however, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Our struggle starts because we have a war within ourselves where each facet of our being is vying for our attention. To me, those facets of our being are the eight dimensions of wellness, which include the physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, environmental, financial, occupational, and social.
When we look at all these pieces of ourselves, we pay attention to some aspects while completely neglecting others. For instance, I work out daily and love writing and reading; therefore, I feel good about the physical and intellectual. The items I put at the bottom of my list are emotional, spiritual, environmental, and financial. When we don’t pay attention to those parts of our lives that rejuvenate us, it can leave us exhausted and on the verge of burnout.
This is a skill I need to develop more. I find myself bouncing between everything, feeling like the ball in a pinball machine, and this often leaves me wondering: What am I neglecting? When you make choices, there is always something you’re forgetting or avoiding. That is the problem with making choices, and it’s also why they are so taxing.
This balancing act recently caused a genuine problem. I started using a new planner, the “Full Focus Planner” by Michael Hyatt. There are so many things I like about this planner. First and foremost, the layout and the weekly review, but it was on the daily pages that I felt myself struggling. Then, I realized the cause: Balance.
I looked at the to-do list that represents all those aspects of my life and found those items that I had tossed aside. I felt, once again, like I had failed. How is it possible to maintain those eight dimensions of wellness?
I neglect some aspects more often than I should, and I need to start creating more awareness of the neglect of some facets of life. But how? Then, I started asking these questions: Are there any on cruise control that need more deliberate attention? When I look at my goals and these facets of life, I realize what I have neglected. I started to realize what I put last on my to-do list, and it revealed a lot. It reveals a lot about my character, priorities, and, most of all, my balance.
It was somewhat easier to strike this balance when it was just me, but just because it was easier didn’t mean I was good at it. I will say that I had more time to focus so much on all those wellness dimensions. I spent more time on spiritual, financial, and emotional during those times, now my most neglected dimensions.
In different phases of life, we tend to prioritize different dimensions depending on our needs. This becomes more of a juggling act as responsibilities increase and time becomes more finite. However, we all have the same amount of time, and there isn’t a way to always pay attention to each of these facets. You do have to, at times, neglect some aspect of your life to get ahead in another, but just because you do that doesn’t mean that you are leaving the other behind. There is indeed a natural ebb and flow to balance. Sometimes, you focus on home life, and other times, you focus on work. You aren’t failing because you have to choose. You are succeeding because you are aware and in tune with what needs to be done and how, and when you choose what to focus on, this makes it intentional and not forgotten.
As I looked at my planner, I realized how little these eight dimensions of wellness are represented on the page. This oversight made it all the more obvious why I forgot some aspects of my life. I had never paid attention to how the items on my to-do list each day reflected these areas and how my prioritization showed what I valued most and prioritized the least. That one observation was most revealing.
Looking at what I neglect, I created a tool to identify what I prioritize and forget. Now, I can look and make sure my choice is intentional. Or am I leaving off what is most needed?
It isn’t impossible to do the balance or blend that makes you happy in that moment. The key to it all is awareness and flexibility. You need awareness of what’s missing, and you need to have the flexibility to adjust your course to your dream.
